This post reflects on Shan’s 3200-mile run across the country in 2020. It’s a quick overview of the 4 months we were apart, with a peek into some of my thoughts and feelings during that time. In the coming weeks, we will have spent our fifth year of holidays together, our second year as husband and wife. ♥️ We are living our happily ever after, but it took some patience to get here.
Once upon a time, in August 2020, after months of COVID lockdown in our little bubble, I watched Shan get into his campervan and drive away. He was on his way to San Francisco - the starting point of his Transcon. He had lost his job during the pandemic, and while many people were retreating inward, he was setting off on "a journey of a lifetime". It was hard to watch him leave, even though we had agreed it wasn’t goodbye, but “see you soonish”. I felt conflicted. I knew his run would be successful, and I wicked admired his courage, but I wrestled with uncertainty and worry. The scope of what he was about to do felt overwhelming, and I questioned how it might affect our relationship. When he left I tried to ignore the possibility that the Transcon might create distance between us.
Throughout his journey, Shan’s crew chief managed the logistics and drove the campervan. From home, I focused on being his emotional anchor. I wanted him to know he had someone in his corner and a place to call home when he finished his run. I sent messages of unwavering love and support, doing what I could to help him stay grounded and focused. It might not seem like much compared to the day-to-day efforts of his crew chief, but I like to believe my steady, loving presence helped him endure his many challenges.
And the journey wasn’t without complications. Shan’s daily runs largely went as planned, but the dynamic between him and his crew chief (and me and his crew chief) brought unexpected tension. As a result, I didn’t meet up with them in the Midwest as originally planned. Instead, I continued to do what I could to help Shan focus on the bigger picture. I eagerly watched for his updates on social media and counted down the miles until we could see each other again. He called frequently, and I could tell that those calls raised his spirits just as much as mine. All of this - the tension, mileage countdown, social media updates, and seeing his face during our FaceTime calls - brought a beautiful energy to our eventual reunion.
I was there when Shan crossed the finish line in Connecticut, marking the end of his run and the start of our next chapter. I felt incredibly proud - of what he had achieved and what we had endured together. The distance and uncertainty didn’t break us - it made us stronger. When Shan made it home, it was like we had both crossed a finish line. Those months apart showed us that love and determination could carry us through anything. I knew he was my person when he started his run, and he is still my person today, reading a book on the couch beside me. 🥰
I still think wistfully about Shan’s 2020 run. I wish there had been no tension, or that it had been handled differently. I wish I had been there with him (and I know he does too). I naively thought our cycling/running adventures would replace the lingering stress and sad feelings from his Transcon. And yes, our adventures have created beautiful memories but haven’t replaced anything. And it has taken me some time to realize that I have been thinking about this all wrong. While part of me wishes that those tense and awkward moments during the run would disappear (especially some of the social media posts and pictures), the other part of me, a bigger part, is ready to embrace them all. Shan’s 2020 run isn’t something to overwrite; it’s a real and honest part of our history. It’s a source of strength and endurance, a symbol of our special connection. Instead of grieving those months apart, I will choose to celebrate them. After all, life has been pretty great on the other side of the Transcon.
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